LP: Better For Who?… (2002)

Recorded and mixed at Shark Bite Studios in Oakland, CA by Michael Rosen.
 

Writing and Recording Credits:
Tony Bonilla – Vocals
Steve Wright – Guitar
Ian Hartley – Guitar
Warner Harrison – Bass
Nicky Bernardi – Drums

Addt’l Writing Credits:
Morgan Delaney – Bass

 

Lyrics

THE VIOLENT DIE VIOLENTLY

silence falls upon the land
the great storm has come and long since past
wiping away its scars
and marred by “civilization”
the earth settles into peace
a way of transformation has come to liberate us all.
some say that it was not fair to be wiped away and all.
some say that it was not too fair to be wiped away and all.
I say we hit ourselves in the face
and delighted in it so
that we kept it up until
we expired
the violent die violently
I’ve heard it said, and I believe
there’s no more voices to be heard
no shouting hailing a cab, no laughing with my friends
only remnants of a people not conservative enough
in the dictionary form of course
we did not love our home, we disassociated from it
we’re not the fallen ones
read or bleed learn or burn

STRENGTH THROUGH DIVERSITY

will I find it in myself
to treat you with respect
will I show myself the same?
why is it every time I look into
your eyes I see myself
faced with the same things.
fighting to remember ourselves
our hearts our souls our minds
our lives the highest vision of
what do we have its strength!
bits and pieces odds and ends
we’ll never figure out how it begins
we can’t afford to sit around
day by day learning how to apply
spiritual principles to our lives
changing growing a living solution.
fight to remember yourself
your heart, your soul, your goals.

COMMUNITY RAPE

urban renewal drove lower income families out.
today you say you wanna make it better.
better for who?..
its the same story… redevelopment!
you ate the fucking Mission alive,
your still hungry for Bay View Hunters Point
people still struggle in this city
they live by any means necessary
and you force them.
thirst for acquisition
the people who live there should benefit first!
but do they?
it seems someone else’s pockets are lined,
as the very fabric of a culture is raped and squeezed,
until there is no more life to profit from.
urban pacification program.
homogenizing, feeding the multinational mouth!
mother, she was taken
she was taken
father, he was taken
he was taken
brother, he was taken
he was taken
sister…..
what have you done?
where did you go?

SUICIDE

suicide, suicide, suicide, I don’t need it!
every time I look in the mirror,
I don’t like what I see in the mirror
put the gun up to my head.
no!

SHOSHIN

trying to delay gratification
that exercise makes me a demon
I hate the fears that keep us choking
and I will never stand aside
please slit my wrists in hope the blood will wash away my sins
please cut my throat to silence the omni-present opinion
please break my heart in hope the sharp little pieces can be used to free me from the bondage of self
today we open the throttle to our hearts
we gotta chance to spread it through the streets
old wounds serve us like traditions
and I will never close my eyes
nothing mind
inside
beginners mind
inside
take my will
take my will
change my world

TUNNEL VISION

there comes a time in your life,
when everyone around you seems like your enemy.
you can’t see up or down, left or right, right or wrong.
that’s where I spend most of my time.
we call it tunnel vision.

laying in darkness,
feeling so small,
too much pressure,
blinded by misery,

can’t escape tunnel vision!
caught in tunnel vision.
god damned

I feel it pull me down,
I’m ripped apart inside,
dripping with sweat and fear,
devoid of courage.

can’t hear a word you say,
I am reckless
careening down in suffering,
I know this damnation.

NOW VS. THEN

23 years have past any doubt in my mind,
how could I have done this without your hand inside
holding my heart my honor, how is it I’m still alive,
still clean and absolved,
the atrocities, the crimes of my past,

all the things you tried to teach me
I threw them away

all the times I forgot to give thanks,
all the times I said “fuck you”
but you never said goodbye, you’re still at my side today.
I see now you’ve always done your best,
the things you taught me, your ways
I practice them today, I practice them today.

I realize in the past I hated every part of you,
I resented every rule you made
the things you tried to teach me,
I threw them all away
now I see you’ve always been there for me
and now I am here for you,
you’ll always be my friend, my teacher,
my father through and through.

TRAITOR

I can’t believe you’d expect us to take this.
you’re either with us or against us – school yard politics,
even after your regime trained those guys
to do what they did so flawlessly well
I’m sure it’s just the answer you were praying for
I hope it’s all worth it, I hope its all worth it,
the culture of terror you’re creating over there.
kind of uncanny how they gave you the reason,
I wouldn’t put it past you if you had it fucking arranged,
now you can go in and get what you want,
subjugate and destroy countless more lives,
all for the sake of pleasing your friends….traitor!
crushing humans spirits faith for a better tomorrow,
robbing others of a chance to live – to live autonomously
while squeezing them endlessly between death and assimilation.
ensuring future generation’s retaliation on our nation.
over there!
in afghanistan
over there!
in uzbekistan
over there!
in india
over there!
in colombia
over there!
in east timor
over there!
in lybia
over there!
in mexico
over there!

BROKEN WAYS

if you want respect you show respect,
respect women and be respected,
human to human, spirit to spirit,
I saw you walk out of that show,
with “your girl” arm in arm, tight grip on who she is.
I see you slap her, man handle her, crush her,
you’ve got no respect!

can’t you see the look on her face?
it’s most certainly not one of happiness.
the bruises on her person mark your frustration
in so many ways you overlook and disregard.

your ways your broken ways!

lacking knowledge of self you proliferate the abuse.
so sad, that you close the door to the gift of understanding.
does your being quiver in fear when you see a powerful woman?
listening to her ideas and aspirations is out of the question

and what’s wrong with showing affection to your girl,
oh, you don’t want anyone to see you can really care.
thinking others opinions matter you shine her on.
cold and hard that’s what you show the world.
I
s she so strong you have to keep her down?
is she so threatening you have to hit her in the face?
is it so wrong to find equanimity in a relationship?
you use violence to cloak major insecurities!

broken ways!

IMPERMANENCE

when my heart was ready, I came to know myself and know the world.
and when it was time to change my outlook I knew it was time to bend or break in half.

it was soul starvation,
laying in the streets,
I would have drown for sure,
gone down in a hail of shame,
I had to realize,
I had to put it down
stop my destruction,
a drink at a time.

right now! put it down!

by the grace of one I was lifted out
we all knew I was set in my ways,
brush with annihilation,
my friends looked down on me,
said I was too far gone,
inside devoid of hope,
crushed by inebriation.

revolution to bring forth what’s left inside,
go ahead make a difference in my life,
bring me this humility that keeps me on today.

HOLY WAR

we’ve all been had by our own devices.
this crumbling nation cannot care for its own.
the fires of brotherhood extinguished by self-importance.
the walls will burn and fall in this holy war.

the lie that runs deep enough to hide away complete without molestation.
so deep they continue to believe it as truth,
and they’ll tell you not to listen to your intuition,
the only way to redemption is to agree,
their own ideas, their methodology
their communion, the only place for any comfort is,
in the shelter of the lies.

don’t listen to yourself
no believing in yourself
dig your fucking graves, go!
no trusting consciousness
no room for any one else
dig your fucking graves!
stop believing in yourself
no believing in yourself
dig your fucking graves!

self realization equals spiritual ascension don’t take it from me, make your own path!
self realization equals spiritual ascension open your eyes, make your own path!
self realization equals spiritual ascension stray from the church, make your own path!
self realization equals spiritual ascension burn out the rich, make your own path!

EXPECTATIONS

give yourself space to slide out from your suffering.
globally undercut the enemy
our great device to continue the distractions
how we all are effected by interaction.

expectation is weight
without it I’ll rise
no investment in outcome
experience is that alone.

step outside who you think you are,
offer up yourself to be come who you’ve always been now.
celebrate and decimate your apprehension.
to be come the light you always were.

giving thanks understood
this life is on loan
what it is, what it was,
experience all evidence
though this is not over,
not by a long shot
I embrace all of my teachers
express boundless, everlasting humility.

each one, teach one

FROM THE START

this life is the one we have,
striving side by side,
I trust and believe you’ll make it through this
I know we won’t divide,
your truth is the one that matters.
believing in what you do,
living each day to the fullest,
overcoming through and through.

I’m not telling you to give in!
I’m not saying its alright for you to give up this fight.

you say this is what you wanted,
you knew it’d be fucking hard,
this is your only anchor, man
you knew this from the start.
enduring all the bullshit,
all the dreams you’ve held up high,
never give up, never give in.
a strengthened future will actualize.
from the start!

 

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